My fabulous vacation to the British Virgin Islands

Or: A Series of Unfortunate Events, Martin-style

So, my MIL decides over Christmas to get married to a wonderful guy, and they decide to have the wedding in Virgin Gorda. Okay, so maybe Stan and I suggested that might be cool. Whatever. So, they settle on getting married on 3/25/08. But I have to go and ruin it by having to go to work – an offsite meeting that I can’t miss on 3/26/08. (I dunno…I’ve been there 5 months already…I don’t know what the big deal is about how much vacation I’ve taken. Two weeks in India. One week in Yosemite. One week in Mexico. Two days in BVI. What??!??) Okay. Back to the subject at hand. So, they move the wedding to Monday 3/25 to accommodate me, thankyouverymuch. We leave the Bay Area on Sunday, 7 am flight. This is where the fun begins.

0.1 {Prologue to Sunday} My BIL gets robbed at gunpoint while getting cash at an ATM for his vacation.

1. Sunday: we wake up late and rush like bats out of hell to get to the airport.

2. 7 am flight is delayed. For three hours. Mechanical problem.

3. Can’t fix plane. Get another one.

4. That plane is broken too. We are now going to miss our connection to St. Thomas, which means there is no way we can make the wedding at 11 am the next day. Wedding must be delayed.

5. We get re-routed to Tortola Island through New York, but have to spend the night in a hotel. When we get to JFK airport, there is no luggage. Shit. We have exactly one diaper left for Jonah.

6. Arrive at hotel around midnight. Request 4 am wake up call. If you’re doing the math, that means 4 hours of sleep if we had been able to go to sleep immediately. With the two kids. Stan calls American Airlines to see about our luggage. They don’t know where it is.

7. Monday, 4 am: take cab to Walgreens to get diapers, underwear, and tampons. Great.

8. Arrive in Tortola, meet Alice and Jon, take ferry to Virgin Gorda. Get a voicemail from my sister: “Hi Ali. Give me a call – I want to talk about Mom.” I think she has something to vent, like Mom bought her girls more dolls or something. Oh, no. My mom has been hospitalized. Thought she was having a heart attack. (She wasn’t, and she’s fine…it was just over-exertion. But still.)

9. We all have to find borrowed/new clothes to wear to the wedding. All our fancies were in our suitcases.

10. Wedding is beautiful. So are Painkillers.

11. I prepare to leave the next morning at 8 am. F*%K. I haven’t even gone swimming in the lovely, warm ocean. Not that I could have, since I didn’t have my bathing suit. It was in my suitcase.

12. Tuesday morning, 7 am: leave for Virgin Gorda airport. [read: long, gravel path they claim is a runway]. Weather is stormy, pouring rain, wind sock flying straight out. Did I mention I have a fear of flying? Especially in small planes? I call Stan to tell him I love him…you know, just in case. Then a tiny freaking airplane lands.

Me: You have got to be kidding me. I’m not getting on that plane.

Stan: I didn’t think you’d like it.

Me: Oh, okay. That’s not my plane. Here is my plane landing. (thought to myself, not vocalized: “Wow. That plane is going really fast and there isn’t much room left on the runway.”)

pause

Me: The airplane just crashed.

Stan: What?!?

Me: The airplane just crashed INTO THE AIRPORT.

Both: laughter [Note: no one was hurt. However, I am notoriously bad at inappropriate laughter]

Stan: I guess you can stay longer now?

You know I couldn’t possibly be making this up, but just in case you don’t believe me, read this.

13. I call my boss, explain that my plane has just crashed (sans moi), and I won’t be able to make the meeting in person. Can I just call in?

14. Did I mention that my Zoloft was in the lost suitcase? (Yes, I do know you’re not supposed to check medicine…) Did you know you’re not supposed to quit cold turkey? Otherwise, this is what can happen. I did get that s*!t refilled this morning and now I am almost feeling normal again.

So, I am home now, sans family because this is Stan’s spring break week. They’ll all be home on Monday. Yes, I will have three whole days alone. {guilty smile. bad mama.} American Airlines still has no clue where our luggage is. I even looked at all three airports where they would logically be as I was traveling home. This I do not understand. I’ll save that rant for later.

Do I sound like I had a great time, or what? We Martins know how to take a vacation.

Meme: I’ve been tagged!

This is my very first meme…it’s so exciting! I’ll do my best to share something interesting, funny, just revealing enough to keep you reading. Here goes.

1. I talk to one or both of my sisters on the phone almost every day.

2. I have an irrational fear of spiders. I know it is irrational, but that doesn’t help. Even looking at a picture of a spider makes my heart race. I almost crashed my car while driving from Santa Cruz to Oceanside because a jumping spider decided to jump straight towards my face. Don’t know why it was in my car in the first place. My other fears include claustrophobia and enochlophobia, especially as the latter relates to mosh pits at concerts.

3. I didn’t have a date for my high school prom, so I went with my best friend instead. Actually, we DID have dates – my (soon-to-be ex) boyfriend and his best friend. Then his parents found out I wasn’t Mormon, so taking me to the prom was out of the question. The thing was, my best friend and I were nominated prom princesses (I know…*gag*) so we decided that lack of dates wasn’t going to keep us from our glory. We went to a drive thru mexican food place for dinner. Then VW we were driving stalled and wouldn’t start again. As I was trying to call one of our parents on a pay phone (yes, I am old enough that that was BEFORE cell phones), a car full of Marines drove past screaming, “Lookin’ for a date, baby?” Sadly, my answer would have to be yes, though I kept silent. I ended up push starting the car in my prom dress and high heels. Neither of us won prom queen (thankfully), but after that everyone at school decided we must be lesbians. And that is my prom story.

4. Many years ago, I was on the cover of Sailing magazine along with Stan, my MIL, and two other crew members. We were not aware that we were on the cover, until Stan saw it on the magazine rack in West Marine.

5. I love Vosges chocolate, especially the Goji bar. The runner up is the Barcelona bar.

6. I am convinced that some day I will win the lottery. It just has to happen.

7. When I am feeling stressed, I often count my steps as I am walking somewhere. My sister calls this my ‘counting disorder’.

Okay…now I’m no longer a meme virgin. The only other blog I can think to tag would be Mrs. Flinger. Thanks for tagging me, Anne!

Wrapping up India

Okay. I’ll ‘fess up. I am writing this while sitting on my couch at home. I have been woefully remiss in actually posting these events in anything remotely resembling timely. Needless to say, I’ve sort of lost my steam in writing about this trip. I will share that the rest of the trip was great and included sightseeing in Mumbai (Gateway of India), including great shopping. We flew to Dehli and then drove to Agra where we went to see the Taj Mahal. The Taj Mahal was incredible, but I have to say that Agra Fort really blew me away. It didn’t look like much from the outside, but the inside was palatial (literally!). So, instead of going into great detail, I’ll just share some pics (excuse the amateur layout…I’m tired now.):