Are you a weaver or a wrapper?

I’ve been thinking about this topic for a long time…how people approach life and integrate experiences into who they are. After I returned from India for Theresa and Atma’s wedding, I realized how much the trip had changed me, and how India will now always be a part of me…becoming part of the tapestry that makes me…me. This has always been how travel has affected me, and it made me wonder if it is the same for everyone, or if other people are able to enjoy the places they visit but don’t come out of it feeling ‘different’. Which is what led me to the concept of weavers and wrappers.

If each person is like a unique and beautiful tapestry, do we start out as an empty loom? Do we have some fundamental design that we get from our family that is built upon throughout our lives? Or is our design set? Here is what I think:

A weaver integrates the experiences of life into their tapestry, meaning they will never really know what the final outcome is until…well, I guess until the end. Each day, each new place, new experience, each person who touches our lives adds to the color and texture of what we are. This means though, that our tapestry is really never finished.

A wrapper takes comfort in knowing who they are and where they came from. Their design comes from their family and ancestry, their nationality, or whatever they feel truly defines them and makes them fundamentally who they are. This doesn’t mean they do not enjoy new experiences, or are closed to new cultures. It means that they observe and appreciate these things with some level of detachment, much as an anthropologist must remain unbiased.

I consider myself a weaver. What are you? What do you think about this theory?

Indeterminate

If you were told you had a one in four chance of winning the lottery, would you be excited? Would you feel like you had a pretty good chance of winning?

If four out of five dentists recommend using fluoride toothpaste, wouldn’t you do it because most of them say you should?

Here is my conundrum. I had a mammogram yesterday – the second in a month – to take a closer look at some breast calcifications. The result was that they are ‘Indeterminate’ calcifications. They want to do a biopsy. The statistic is that of the women who have a biopsy, 22% (or 1 out of 4, as stated on CPMC.org website) turn out to be malignant.

Which side of the statistic would you want to be on? I am trying to stay positive, but jesus. It’s scary.

Zoe deals another doozie

A conversation from Sunday:

Zoe: Mama, if I was an ant and you found me in your house, would you kill me?

Me: Uh….(pause)….If I knew it was a Zoe-ant I would very gently pick you up and put you back outside where you belong.

Zoe: Oh.

Geez. Where does she get this stuff from?

A nod to Brutally Honest Mondays

So, I confess. I have gained 10 pounds in the last three months. And it all seems to have gone to my tummy. But this morning, as I was getting dressed, Zoe asked me if I was going to have another baby. If that isn’t brutal, I don’t know what is. Even if it wasn’t Monday.

The dichotomy of motherhood

As my babies become less baby-like and more people-like, I find myself feeling torn between two completely opposite emotions. I am relieved that I have a bit more time that I can use to do what I want (see previous post…obviously doing nothing good) and I am sad that Zoe and Jonah are growing up so fast.

Yesterday, though, I had such a good day with Zoe that I didn’t have the feelings of wishing she was still little. My big 4-year old and I had a mama-and-me day and we went to see Chihuly at the de Young museum. If you happen to live in the Bay Area, you MUST go see this exhibition. It was incredible. Zoe came out of it and said, “Chi-HOOOO-li is an amazing artist!” (I’m not making that up.)

Glass ceiling

We made the requisite stop in the museum store where I agreed to buy her a Chihuly Artist Kit for kids, and a puzzle for Jonah. Zoe also wanted a purple pencil sharpener. We’ve been trying to teach her that things cost money, and that money comes from working instead of just magically out of our wallets. So I told her if she wanted the pencil sharpener she’d have to see if she had enough money. She did, and she was so proud to be able to buy it herself. (She had earned the money from helping to put Jonah to bed a few nights before….I was joking when I told her I’d give her $5 if she could help her Daddy put Jonah to bed. She promptly got up, picked some stories she knows by heart to read to him and was mostly successful.) We have been talking about making a list of chores for her to do to earn some money so she can buy herself the infinite list of things she asks for whenever we are in any retail establishment. The thrill of purchasing the sharpener made her hungry for more, and she said she wanted to do some chores when we got home. (I’m not making this up either.) Alrighty!

Zoe at Chihuly

After the de Young, we went to see the butterfly exhibit at the Conservatory of Flowers where we actually got to observe a Monarch butterfly emerge from its cocoon and watch as its wings went from crumply to beautifully expanded. It was so neat. And we had such a good time. I felt a little bad that I didn’t bring Jonah along, but in hindsight I realized the days agenda really wasn’t geared toward an 18 month old.

We were both hungry and so had lunch at the Beach Chalet, then headed home. Zoe fell asleep during the car ride and took a nice long nap, but when she awoke, here are the chores she completed:
1. Dusted the living room furniture.
2. Vacuumed the bench in the kitchen and under the table.
3. Picked up her shoes and jackets from the living room, put them away.
4. Picked up Jonah’s toys from living room, put them away.
5. Picked up her room, dusted her dresser.

For this, she earned $1.25. So when I am feeling sad that she isn’t the little baby she used to be, I am going to think back on this day and remember what a great time we had and be thankful for the present.

Damn Facebook!

So, I haven’t posted in a while. I know that my record to date has been sporadic at best, unlike my favorite bloggers, Bun in the Oven and Mrs. Flinger. My old excuse(s):
- No time. I have two kids, ya know? (oh. right. so do my two favorite bloggers) Strike that excuse.
- Nothing interesting to say. Today I woke up, went to work, came home, cooked dinner, bathed children, put children to bed, went to sleep. Repeat. (Forgot to add: said good morning, bye, hello, goodnight to husband)

But NOW, I have another excuse. I am not…and I repeat NOT a video game kind of girl. I don’t like MySpace. I’m not into SecondLife, though I do have an avatar. She’s floating around lost somewhere in a Brazilian lounge. Then my older sister Meri tells me about Facebook. And now I am so hooked! I love playing Scramble. I’ve recently become addicted to Gangster Battle. So now, instead of using the nanoseconds of free time I have writing and posting, I spend them on Facebook.

See you there.

Big Questions

Zoe has been handing out some doosies lately. On Saturday, she was sitting in the car eating a Popsicle while I cleaned my car (yes, I know…two opposing activities). Out of nowhere, she asks if I know cheezus. I thought she was asking about goldfish crackers so I asked if she wanted some crackers.

Zoe: “Do you know Cheezus?”
Me: (thinking she wanted something else to eat…) Do you want some goldfish crackers?”
Zoe: (annoyed) “No. Do you know CHEEZ-us?
Me: “Do you mean Jesus?”
Zoe: “Yes. Some bad men did things to him.”
Me: “Um. Yeah. Where did you hear this?” Note: we are not at all religious, so I am now confounded about where this is coming from…
Zoe: “Daddy.”

So I asked Stan about this and he told me that with all the missions and churches they visited while in Mexico, Zoe was fascinated with all the images of Jesus and kept asking about his wounds and why people hurt him.

Then this morning I am driving her to school and we are, as usual, listening to NPR. There is a story about a man who flew fighter planes in WWII, in spite of the fact that he was African American. At that time, African Americans were only given menial jobs because of a study that was done after WWI that claimed that “negroes were a sub-species of human”. (I’m not kidding….here is a link to the story) After listening to this story, Zoe asks:

Zoe: “When will we die?”

After a moment of panicking because I don’t know exactly what to say, I decide on this:

Me: “Not for a long time, sweetie.”
Zoe: “YAY! Can I have a lollipop?”

I have a new crush

Well, not exactly. Stan and I went to see Mark Knopfler in concert on Saturday night at the Greek Theatre. C’mon…you know…Mark Knopfler? Of Dire Straits? The one who wrote the score to Princess Bride? Anyway, it was one of the best concerts I have ever been to. He is an incredible musician, as are all the guys who played with him.

So the crush…he had a great voice. I could listen to him talk for hours. I don’t really have a crush on him…just his voice.

Vegas, baby!

So, I had SUCH a great weekend! My bf from college and I have been planning a road trip for like…EVER. We have been planning this ever since the movie Thelma & Louise came out. A cliche, I know. Anyway, as it turned out, we never did this road trip. Then I moved to N. Cal. Then we both had babies. Then we both had our second babies. And we worried that this trip would never happen. When Stan planned his trip to Mexico with the kids to visit his dad and step mom, I thought to myself, “This is my chance!”. So Daria and I decided Las Vegas would be a good choice.

We stayed at the Red Rock Casino and Spa….aaaaaahhhhh. I have never done a whole spa-day thing and it was truly heaven. Facial. Pedi. Scalp and foot treatment. Relaxed by the pool. All. Day. Long. Had dinner. Then, I said I wanted to try my hand at craps. I’ve never played and I think I like it. Maybe it was just beginners luck, but I won about $300. Nice.

There is the saying, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” I wish I could coyly say that was our motto, but we are old married ladies with two kids. We were in bed before midnight both nights, but we had such a great time.

And now I’m addicted to Craps.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

Way back in the pre-kids days, I used to go sailing almost every weekend in the summer. It’s the thing I miss the most about my pre-mommy days. And tomorrow…it’s true…I get to go sailing! I’m sure I’ll be rusty but I don’t care. We aren’t sailing on our own boat, but in a way that makes it a little easier since we won’t have to put the boat away after the race. I’ll report on how it goes – hopefully I won’t break anything on the boat or on me.